Pathetic

I don't know if this makes me more sad or angry. I'm thinking angry. 

Who do you think you are to kill one of Gods children just because the situation isn't ideal for you? 

i feel like there's sand in my eyes. what a horrible day.

This is why I love books, movies and T.V.

In my own little corner,

In my own little chair,

I can be whatever I want to be.

On the wing of my fancy, I can fly anywhere,

And the world will 

open it's arms to me.

songs

Working hard to memorize 'It Is Well With My Soul" so that someday I can sing it to that little boy I love so much :)

"If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. I’ll always be with you."
-- Winnie the Pooh

scrapbooking

I tried to scrapbook today, then I realized that all I have is pieces of paper and some stickers. I gave everything away.

sometimes pictures mean more than words :)

family

I spent about a half an hour with my dad tonight, trying to fix a leaking window pane. The whole experience - the way he handled the situation - reminded me of how much, and of why I love my dad. He is kind, ingenuitive , goofy, crafty (when it saves money) and more than anything, he loves - perhaps more than any person I know. Those of us who are blessed to be part of the family of people that my father loves, have come to know, and perhaps to take for granted, his unfailingly kind nature. I can't count the amount of times that he has slipped me a $5 bill to get a hamburger or a coffee. Beyond small gifts, my father's presence in my life is steady, kind, extremely unexciting, supremely loving and, above all, Godly. This is the measure that I judge potential men against, and it is a tall order. I am proud to have him as a father, and yet this pride brings with it a certain grief - a sadness that my son may never know this incredible man.

I haven't quite come to grips with the fact that the man who has shaped my life so much might not touch my son's life at all.

Merry Christmas to Me :)

I just bought a locket necklace to put a picture of Carson in. I've wanted one for quite a while. It's funny, but I've become a lot more sentimental since having Carson. I've taken to collecting objects to make me feel closer to him. It will be quite nice to have something that I can wear around my neck at all times :)